From scar to star: My life story 

Like a diamond forged under immense pressure, my journey from suffering to success has been shaped by strength and transformation. In this respect, it is a story not just of survival, but of triumph against the darkest odds. 

A childhood in chains (0 – 10 years) 

I was born in Kolkata in the early 1970s, the only child of an ambitious yet strict mother. Rather than nurturing her daughter, my young, immature & inexperienced mother treated me as a vessel to dump her frustrations. Love, warmth, and affection were absent; instead, my life was ruled by relentless discipline with severe punishment. 

Insecurity was my constant companion. Locked in dark rooms, threatened with terrifying punishments, beaten without reason—my childhood was a series of nightmares. My mother’s words echoed in my mind like an unending curse: “If you disobey, your tongue will be burned. If you resist, your private parts will be cut off.” 

At the age of three, I faced sexual abuse at the hands of a trusted family friend. By eight, another predator, a male cousin, sexually assaulted me. With no one to protect me, I withdrew into a world of silence, believing myself to be unworthy of love, a burden to the world, and doomed to eternal torment. Desperate for an escape, I sought refuge in my secret diary, pouring out my agony in ink. 

“I am unloved. I am unworthy. I want to die,”I often wrote. 

Unlike other children who dreamt of success, I fantasised about death, longing for a terminal illness that would finally make my parents notice me. Yet, deep within me, a warrior spirit stirred. I mastered multiple skills and pushed myself to the brink in search of validation. But no achievement was ever enough. 

Nature became my solace. I found comfort in rivers, forests, and mountains, moulding myself into an adventurer. By the age of 10, I was a national-level swimmer, an award-winning author, and a world record-holding mountaineer, which earned me recognition from Prime Minister Indira Gandhi herself. Yet, even then, my parents remained unmoved. 

A battle for identity (10-18 years) 

Though I was an achiever, excelling in extracurricular activities, designated as an “all-rounder”, I remained a loner. My parents, disapproving of my introverted nature, labelled me “abnormal” and forced me into therapy. 

Along the way, I delved into self-development, spirituality, and higher consciousness, desperate to uncover my identity beyond the chains imposed upon me. 

Marriage – From one prison to another (19 – 35 years) 

Forced into higher studies my mother chose for me, my life was never truly my own. Just 2 weeks after my final exam, I was married off to a stranger, with no say about my own future. 

Marriage, instead of bringing freedom, became another prison. I was doomed to be a mere slave with no respect, no love, but only physical labour, a bread earner,  a provider & a supporter. My husband, cold and distant, remained indifferent to my suffering. The torture & harassment did not stop at physical, mental, or emotional levels but extended to the confiscation & extortion of all my belongings, including my jewellery & valuables. I remembered the story, ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’, which was quite like mine. One night, my brother-in-law attempted to rape me, while my husband watched in detached silence. I ran away to save my life & never returned. 

Determined to understand the darkness of human behaviour, I immersed myself in psychology, counselling & healing. My journey took a new turn; I became a sought-after motivational speaker on life management, a life coach, a counselor & a life healer, transforming the lives of those who had suffered like me. 

Love, loss, and the ultimate test 

Years later, my parents got me remarried. For the first time in my life, I tasted love & security. Blessed with two children, I experienced a fleeting taste of happiness. But the ghosts of my past were never far behind. 

My parents, who had shifted after retirement, took my children away to their hometown without my consent. 

During that weekend, my husband & I drove to Goa. We met with a massive car accident. In an instant, I lost the love of my life. Trapped in the wreckage, I watched as his body lay still. I survived, but barely. With severe spinal injuries, I lay semi-paralysed for months, unable to move. But the physical pain paled in comparison to the agony of losing my husband. I knew I had to live, for the sake of my children. Once I was up on my feet, within the next 3 years, I lost my in-laws & father to ailments like cancer, cardiac arrest & kidney failure. 

As a “one-woman army”, I started raising my kids, facing all the challenges of life single-handedly. But my challenges did not stop. I was diagnosed with 3rd stage cancer. All my life’s suppressed pain, agony, and trauma surfaced as 26 cancer tumours which were removed & I had to take intense long-term chemotherapy. The second time, death was conquered. 

A life of purpose 

Despite everything, I refused to let life break me. Instead, I dedicated myself to healing others (Pranic Healing, Angel Healing, Tao Healing), counselling, therapy, and empowering people to transform their pain into strength. The girl once trapped in darkness had become a beacon of hope for others. 

My journey, once defined by suffering, has now become a tale of resilience and redemption. Today, on the 20th death anniversary year of my husband, though I still miss him as much as I did on the 1st day, I am contented that our kids have grown up as good human beings, excelling in academics, sports, painting, music, spirituality & healing. I have achieved success as a Life Coach, Story Teller, Corporate Trainer, and Pranic Healer. I have also been involved in organising & conducting rejuvenating spiritual & mindfulness retreats, serving foreign delegates visiting India as the ambassador from the Ministry of Tourism besides being an author, photographer  and most importantly, a contented mother. My journey was not easy but with God’s grace, & my guru, Padmasambhava’s guidance, I have turned my scars into stars. 

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