Rolls of the dice

Elections in single-engine states have a longer train of mishaps. West Bengal CM has raised the ‘bogie’ of derailment. Her CEC, Chief Election Complaint, is the Speciously Illogical Revision of rolls. Railing against it, she claims that the (real) EC has pressed ‘Del Alt Ctrl’, using SIR’s summary deletions to alter the electoral rolls and thus control results. The tension has shifted from ‘Who’ll get voted?’ to ‘Who’ll get to vote?’ Or ‘Who’s left to vote?’  

Raring-to-come BJP has pulled out all the stops to stop the return of Too Much Corrupt party. In this regime-change war, a relentless bombardment of ads urges the City of Joy to replace the climate of ‘Bhoy’ (fear) with ‘Bhorsha’ (that’s trust, not the way Bengali varsha; rain has already been ushered in by the season’s squally nor’westers). 

Oodi baba! Too much hiss and sizzle, na? Let’s add that of Kolkata’s signature snack. Kindly don’t dismiss it as ‘nonsense kotha’. Kathi rolls and electoral rolls are not polls apart.

Candidates hold road shows; show me a Kolkata road that doesn’t hold a roll-stall.  

Party meetings are election-time staple; kathi eating is party-time staple. 

Paratha–atta is vigorously worked on to make it pliant; just like voters. 

Dough is kneaded for rolls; more dough is needed for polls.

The paratha stays on the frying tawa; kabab on the fire. Candidates could fall from one into the other.  

Poll promises are beefed up, but ultimately chickened out of. The veg kathi-roll has aloo. Omnivorous politicians could end up with a hot potato.

Turncoats skew the old party’s prospects. Voters should skewer them.  

Ekta difference. Roll feeds the hand that bites it; ungrateful pollitician does ulto.

At the end of it all, one party is on a roll, the other gets flattened like a paratha – maybe like the anda variation, even with egg on its face.

Alec Smart said: “Trump calls it ‘I-ran’; it could also be his fate.” 

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