Moving In Together Tips: Dos and Don’ts for couples moving In together |
Sharing a home is an exciting phase in a romantic relationship. You have the keys, but now what? While it is exciting, it is also a crucial step, which should not be taken lightly. Sharing a roof means, blending habits, lifestyles, and everything in between. Before you pack your box, here are some thighs you should get right from day one.
Talk finances early
Before you say ‘Oh, we are not that couple. Money is not a problem’, let’s stop you right there. Money is going to be the number-one source of conflict when you cohabit. Before you rent the space, or move in to his/her/their house, start talking money. How are you going to split the expenses. Whether you go halves, or divide proportionately, open a joint account for expense – all these should be cleared.
Discuss chores
Nobody likes chores, but they do exist. And it needs to be taken care of. The cleaning, the dishes, the laundry, cooking, – all these should be discussed, unless you don’t want to be the person scrubbing the bathroom every single day. Work out a schedule based on availability, strengths and weaknesses.
Respect each other’s personal space
Yes, you are moving in together, because you want to spent ‘more’ time together, not ‘all’ the time. So set a boundary on the personal space. Talk about it. Perhaps it is spending the Friday evening, in the reading room, or going dancing with your friends on Saturday night. It is important to protect your individuality at all costs. Discuss this with your partner.
Set house rules
Whether you believe it or not, you need house rules. These are going to save you time and peace. Talk about having guests over, whether overnight visitors are allowed. You don’t want to wake up to his friends lying on the couch, and trashing your home, after the weekly thrice match days. Discussing these things are important, because these small things snowball fast. Think it less of a rulebook and more as healthy boundary for both your wellbeing.
Keep communication open
When you are moving in together, it is important to keep the communication open. Make a habit of checking in regularly, not just when something goes wrong. Talk about the concerns, before they grow into bigger issues. Be open and honest with each other.
Don’t move in because it is convenient
Why are you moving in? Now this is a question you need to answer yourself. Are you movin in because you genuinely want to build your relationship or because it solves a logistical problem? It can split rent, cut the cost of commute, but that should not be your reason.
Don’t avoid the money talk
Most couple avoid the money talk, and it only land them in deep trouble. Your financial arrangements are what gives you peace while cohabiting. So, it is also important to revise your financial agreements as you move ahead.
Don’t skip the boundary setting
Most people feel boundaries are walls, but they are not. That is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Always set the right boundaries. For instance, alone time or self-care Sunday, time with family, or privacy with your phone. These tiny boundaries will only bring you together.
Don’t ignore early annoyance
Now, when you live together, both of you will have different lifestyles. Addressing the minor differences as early as possible is important . For example, if you keep avoiding your partner’s habit of bringing bathroom slippers to the living room, one day it will snowball into something far more serious. Just tell them it bothers you.
Don’t expect perfection in a week
You won’t feel ‘at home’ the very first week, or two. It will take time to adjust to the new place. Your are getting to know your partner’s habits, and see whether they align with yourselves. So don’t jump on conclusions on the first week. Give it some time, because settling in takes time.
