Jaw-jaw and war-war
US and Israel jointly attack Iran, but one of them is confused
Donald Trump in a phone conversation with Benjamin ‘Bibi’ Netanyahu.
Trump: Hi Nate, how’re they hangin’ now that we’ve slammed Iraq and whacked that Saddam fella?
Bibi: Hello Donnie (off-phone aside): If he’s going to call me Nate, I’ll damn well call him Donnie. (on phone): There’s just one small thing – it’s not Iraq that we’ve attacked, but Iran. And it isn’t Saddam who got whacked this time but Ayatollah Khamenei. Your history’s a bit off.
Trump: History, mystery. History’s a lot of bunk. Like climate change. Iraq, Iran, what the heck’s the difference? They both begin with I and they both have four letters, don’t they? Besides, all these A-rab guys are all the same.
Bibi: Actually, the Iranians aren’t A-rabs as you call them, they’re Persian.
Trump: Persian, eh? Maybe after things have settled down a bit I’ll ask Melania to mosey down and pick up a couple of Persian rugs to replace the ones at Mar-a-Lago which’ve got kinda rundown after I got my Mexican housekeeper deported for being an illegal.
Bibi: Your Persian rugs might have to wait a while, Donnie. I think this Iran business is going to take some sorting out. Like your Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan did. We might have to put boots on the ground.
Trump: Heck, I’m ready to put a whole lotta boots on the ground, as long as they’re not my boots. Or Don Junior’s, or Barron’s, or Eric’s. Or maybe even Jared’s.
Bibi: That’s very big of you, Donnie. But how are you planning to protect America from the terror attacks that Iran has threatened in retaliation?
Trump: Jeez. There’s bound to be some of what they call colorectal damage. I’ll do my damnedest to see that it all happens in Minnesota, California, and other Democrat hideouts. But I gotta go now to take over that other place. Iceland, wasn’t it?
Bibi: Right, Donnie. (Then off-phone) He’s mixing up Iceland and Greenland again. But let Reykjavik point him in the right direction when he lands up on its doorstep – and maybe it’ll remain safe…
Disclaimer
Views expressed above are the author’s own.
END OF ARTICLE
