Clack, sizzle, repeat

Snob society is now ruled by tile and tawa . In air-kissed exclusion zones, the talk is no longer of shiatsu massages and ethically sourced coffee. Even matcha is no match for mahjong and benne dosa – the dual addiction of SoBo, SoDel & Co.

It’s a socio-cultural phenomenon. Babes have jilted their gym instructors to join mahjong classes; yummy mummies and rummy aunties alike have succumbed to this new obsessive compulsive social order. Benne has not only changed ignorant ‘Davangere Where?’ to adulatory ‘Davangere Wow!’, it has subverted the dosa ecosystem. In Mumbai, its upper-class acolytes no longer have to slum it to sweaty, crowded joints in Matunga; benne now boasts exclusive, downtown spaces with in-your-face branding and concealed lighting. Even South Indians line up en famille in brilliant conjeevaram and fragrant mallipoo, corner-eyeing the white linen-blue jeans Guccipudi set.

It’s a geo-political coup. With mahjong, China has breached the LoC without a single shot; no force, only foursomes; no treaty, only the loser’s entreaties for one more redemptive round. Benne has broken through the last post of the South-North/West/East barrier.
Forget sourdough and smashed avo, Kannadiga benne is also ending the long reign of the TamBrahm dosai . No wonder then that benne queues rival those for a BTS concert. And difficultly scheduled mahjong session vs first-day-first-show of The Devil Wears Prada was an agonising choice.

Being ‘with it’ is never without pain. Neither is for the faint-hearted. In mahjong ‘passive aggressive’ has reached clinical levels; at benne tables someone will keel over from a cholesterol spike. Indeed both are ‘war by other means’. Mahjong is about alliances, strategy and covert tactics. Benne partners are chosen for battle-ready elbows and table-grabbing hands.

Both crazes cater to what we love: competition, community, drama – and deception. Mahjong pretends ‘it’s just a game’ while plotting murder. The yet-hopeful don’t know the sheer grit behind the satisfied glow of the benne eater.

One more connect. Alien mahjong masks Chanakyan ruthlessness with Krishn-like detachment. Native benne reflects the innate Indian ability to butter up with the intention to fry.

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