Vidya Balan: “I spent years wanting to be like boys”: Vidya Balan reveals how chasing comparison affected her health; 3 reasons why women need to celebrate their own strengths

Vidya Balan. (Photo credit: AFP)

For generations, a lot of girls have grown up thinking that being “one of the boys” is basically a compliment. Be tougher. Work harder. Never complain. Push through the pain. Match men at everything be it at work, at the gym or everywhere because that’s supposedly what strength looks like. But what if strength doesn’t actually have to mean being the same?Bollywood actor Vidya Balan recently spoke about exactly this, admitting she spent years measuring herself against men before realising women don’t need to prove anything by trying to become like them. Speaking at an event, she opened up about how this mindset actually ended up affecting her health.

“I spent a lifetime wanting to be like the boys. It’s only now that I’m respecting that we are made differently and that we should accept and respect the way we are. We should work on our strengths,” she said.

“I used to also go to the gym and…”

Image courtesy: Instagram/@balanvidya

The actor also opened up about one of the biggest lessons she picked up through personal experience. “I used to also go to the gym and pick up as many weights as the boys did. It led me to a lot of trouble guys. I had lots of physical hormonal issues because of that. It’s not healthy,” she recalled.Vidya then added, “So I just think that we must celebrate our own strengths and also respect our differences.”What Vidya told women wasn’t a sign to stay away from strength training. It’s more a reminder of something health experts keep saying. Fitness isn’t a competition. Everybody reacts differently to exercise, food, recovery and stress. Women’s bodies go through hormonal shifts across different life stages whether it is periods, pregnancy, postpartum recovery or menopause. What works perfectly for one person might not work at all for someone else.

Because equality doesn’t mean ignoring biological differences

Vidya’s biggest realisation was that women don’t have to become like men to prove they are equally capable. Trying to match someone else’s body, strength or training style simply because they can do it may not always be healthy. Men and women have different hormones, muscle composition and recovery patterns. That doesn’t make one stronger than the other. It simply means their bodies may respond differently.Respecting these differences isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of understanding your own body instead of constantly competing with someone else’s.

When comparison stops being healthy

Vidya’s comments also point to a much bigger issue. Women today are constantly bombarded with messages to do more. They are expected to build a successful career, stay emotionally available, raise the kids, stay fit and basically never slow down.Breaking stereotypes is genuinely empowering, sure. But there’s often an unspoken pressure sitting underneath it too. The pressure to keep proving women can do everything exactly the way men do. The problem is, that kind of comparison usually ignores biology altogether. Equality was never about pretending differences don’t exist. It’s about making room for women to succeed without forcing them into standards built around someone else’s body.

Listening to your body isn’t giving up

A lot of women still feel guilty about simply listening to their bodies. Resting during a painful period often gets written off as laziness. Needing more recovery time after an intense workout gets mistaken for weakness. Hormonal changes barely even come up in conversations around productivity or fitness.But acknowledging these realities isn’t making excuses. It’s just understanding how your own body actually works.

Why this is an important conversation for women

Vidya Balan’s words are about letting go of a lifetime spent comparing yourself to others. So many women spend years trying to become “enough” by chasing someone else’s standard: at work, at home, in relationships, even in the gym. Somewhere in all that, they forget to stop and ask what actually works for them.Respecting your body doesn’t mean shrinking your ambitions. It means realizing that strength shows up in more than one form. Sometimes strength is lifting heavy. Sometimes it’s knowing when to stop. Sometimes it’s pushing yourself further. And sometimes, it’s choosing not to compete at all.We don’t become stronger by pretending we’re the same as everyone else. We become stronger when we actually understand our own bodies, lean into our own strengths, and stop measuring ourselves against someone else’s idea of success.